بعد الحمل سافر عبد الله أبو النبي إلي الشام للتجارة : فقد كان عبد الله بن عبد المطلب يعمل في التِّجارة كسائر قومه، فخرج ذات مرَّةٍ إلى قافلة إلى الشَّام، وعند عودتهم مرض مرضاً شديداً، فبقي في المدينة المنوَّرة يُمرَّض عند أخواله من بني النَّجار، وعاد من كان معه إلى مكَّة المكرَّمة، عندئذٍ سمع عبد المطلب ذلك، فأرسل ابنه الحارث ليطمئنَّ على ابنه، فوجده قد مات، وحزنوا عليه حزناً شديداً، ودُفن عبد الله في دار النَّابغة.
بدأ الإسلام غريبا وسيعود غريبا، أليس كذلك؟ نصف الأمة اليوم من جراء الحروب والنزاعات المسلحة والمجاعات والبحث عن الأرزاق عبر البحر أو علي حدود البلدان يموت الأب قبل أن يري ولد من أولاده أو حتي ولده الأول في هذه الحياة، ولعل وفاة أبو النبي صلي الله عليه وسلم تعزية لكل طفل فقد ابوه قبل أن يراه.
عاش رسول الله صلي الله عليه وسلم طفلاً سعيداً في البادية حتي 3 سنوات تقريبا، ثم رجع إلي أمه الحقيقية وليست المرضعة، ليعيش معها سنتين فقط، ثم سيبدأ الفقد الجديد، لعلنا نحاول فهم القصة
1- لما بلغ رسول اللّٰه صلى اللّٰه عليه وسلم ست سنين خرجت به أمه إلى أخواله بني عدي بن النجار بالمدينة تزورهم به ومعهم أم أيمن تحضنه وهم على بعيرين(أم أيمن: هي مربية رسول الله) فنزلت به في دار النابغة: وهي نفس الدار التي دُفن فيها ابوه عبد الله بن عبد المطلب قبل سنوات
2- فأقامت به شهرا عند أخواله بني عدي بن النجار، وبعد ذلك أرادت أن تنصرف به إلى مكة مخافة وإشفاقا على نجله الكريم صلى اللّٰه عليه وسلم، وذلك بسبب أن أحبار اليهود: أي علماء اليهود، علماء اليهودج كانوا يسمون احبارا، قد عرفوا النبوة والرسالة في ملامحه صلى اللّٰه عليه وسلم، كما قالت أم أيمن(مُربية رسول الله) جاءني ذات يوم رجلان من يهود المدينة، فقالا لي: أخرجي إلينا أحمد ننظر إليه، فنظر إليه، وقلباه، فقال أحدهما لصاحبه: هذا نبي هذه الأمة، وهذه دار الهجرة، وسيكون بها من القتل والسبي أمر عظيم
3- في طريق رجوعهما من المدينة إلي مكة المكرمة حيث يقيما: إذا بالمرض يلاحق السيدة آمنة بنت وهب ام رسول الله، واشتد المرض سراعا حتي إاذ وصلت لمكان يسمي الأبواء، وهي محل بين مكة والمدينة، وللأسف ماتت هناك ودفنت هناك بالأبواء
في ديننا ما يعي اركان الإيمان، ومعني اركان أي قواعد البيت، واي ركن منهما أزيل فقد البيت صموده (بيت ايماننا) ومن هذه الأركان: الإيمان بالقدر خيره وشره، علي غير عادة الناس، نحن نحمد الله علي وفاة أبو النبي وأم النبي محمد صلي الله عليه وسلم، لأنه شيء عملي امام الأعين، لأنه ارانا أن وفاة احد الوالدين أو كليهما لم يؤثر علي عظمة الشخص وتأثيره البالغ في مجتمعه وربما مجتمعات اخر كما سيدنا محمد صلي الله عليه وسلم، ونحمد الله علي وفاتهما ووجود جده عبد المطلب لرعايته وحنانه - هذا ما سوف نعرف عنه في الفيديو القادم إن شاء الله - هو بمثابة وصفة نفسية طبية لآلاف المكلومين في كل مكان من المسلمين ممن فقدوا أحد والديهما أو كلاهما في هذه الفترة الحرجة من الحياة "الطفولة المبكرة أو ربما قبل الميلاد" لتعرفنا الدور المحوري لمن يحيطون بالطفل وأهمية توصيل الدعم الكافي، والتجرد والترفع عن الحزن من اجل مستقبل شباب قادم عبر أطفال حزاني اليوم.
The Lady Aminah bint Wahb
The Name
Aminah bint Wahb ibn Abd Manaf ibn Zuhrah ibn Kilab
From the tribe of
Quraysh in Mecca
Her title
Mother of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)
Her father
His name was Wahb, and he was the chief of the Banu Zuhrah in lineage and honor. He held a distinguished position and a high rank among their nobles and leaders.
He had a strange incident in his worship – this was before Islam, of course –
He worshipped a bright star called Sirius, which in Arabic was called Kabsha. His worship of it went against Arab customs and historical norms, so he became known as Abu Kabsha (Father of Kabsha), and was attributed to it. Because he worshipped it, and no one else among the Arabs worshipped it, he differed from all the Arabs in this. So when the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, came to them with a message contrary to what the Arabs were accustomed to, they said: "This is the son of Abu Kabsha," meaning that he differed from his people in his worship, just as his maternal grandfather (Wahb) had done.
We comment on this incident as follows
If you are a grandfather to grandchildren, beware. It is said that a good deed can reach seven grandchildren—there is no reliable basis for this statement in the Prophetic traditions—but note: When the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, first received the divine message, they taunted him about his grandfather, saying he had abandoned the religion of his forefathers, and they nicknamed him "the son of Abu Kabsha." It is as if they were attributing to the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, what they could not attribute to his grandfather due to his high status, because of the few who supported him at that time.
Her Mother
Barrah bint Abd al-Uzza ibn Uthman ibn Abd al-Dar ibn Qusayy ibn Kilab. She belonged to a noble family in the Quraysh tribe. Her father was the chieftain of Banu Zuhrah and held a prominent position among the elite of his people.
Her Ancestors
Her paternal grandfather's name was often combined with her maternal grandfather's name, and they were referred to as "al-Munafan" as a sign of respect and honor.
Her Siblings
She had no brothers or sisters, only one from her father's other wife, and they are considered as the uncles of the prophet PBUH.
Her Characteristics
She was known for her intelligence, eloquence, and beauty, earning her the title of "the wise woman of her people."
Her Worship
She never worshipped idols, nor did she seek their judgment or assistance during the pre-Islamic era.
Her Upbringing
She was raised by her uncle, Wahib ibn Abd Manaf ibn Zuhrah. She grew up protected and honored in her home, hidden from view to such an extent that even narrators could scarcely discern her features. This led to widespread agreement that she was the most refined and well-mannered girl in the Quraysh. And lineage
Let us now talk about her blessed marriage to the father of the Messenger of God. How did she marry him? Who was he? And what was his status in society?
The story
Abdul Muttalib wanted to dig the Zamzam well in fulfillment of a vision he had seen, but the Quraysh prevented him from doing so. He had no supporter at that time except his son Al-Harith, so he vowed to God Almighty that if He granted him ten male children, he would sacrifice one of them at the Kaaba. When he was blessed with ten sons, the time came to fulfill his vow. He asked each of them to write their name on a piece of clay, so that he could draw lots to determine who would fulfill the vow. Abdul-Muttalib loved Abdullah dearly and hoped the lot would not fall on Abdullah, but it did. Undeterred, Abdul-Muttalib took the sacrificial animal and headed towards the Kaaba with Abdullah. However, the people prevented him from doing so and suggested he draw lots between himself and ten camels. If the lot fell on the camels, he could slaughter them and redeem his son. He did as they suggested, but the lot fell on Abdullah. His father then added another ten camels, but they still fell on Abdullah. He continued adding to the number until it reached one hundred camels. Realizing that this was what pleased God, he redeemed his son Abdullah with one hundred camels.
The first story has ended, my son. What can we learn from it?
1- We read the story as if it were a given. Female' Camels, my son—and by the way, the plural of camel—were the most precious possessions of the Arabs. For this grieving father to offer 100 camels to prevent his son's sacrifice was a truly remarkable act. Ironically, he lived only about a year afterward, marrying and dying a few months later.
2- It is said that the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was the "son of the sacrificed one, the sacrificed one" referring to the son of Ishmael (peace be upon him) and the son of Abdullah, son of Abdul-Muttalib.
The Blessed Marriage
Abdullah was a handsome, well-bred, and distinguished young man. He was the best, most chaste, and most beloved of Abdul-Muttalib's sons. Since women tend to favor those renowned for their virtue and intelligence, many marriage proposals were sent to him. However, his father was determined to marry him off to a woman from the Banu Zuhrah tribe. He would travel to Yemen, passing through the Banu Zuhrah, and on one occasion, upon his return, he took his son Abdullah to the Banu Zuhrah and asked for the hand of his daughter, Aminah bint Wahb (may God be pleased with her), in marriage to Wahb ibn Abd Manaf, the father of Aminah. This took place in 549 CE, one year before the Year of the Elephant. The marriage was celebrated in a grand ceremony attended by many prominent figures of the Quraysh tribe. This union served as a bond between the Banu Hashim and Banu Zuhrah, strengthening the social ties between the two tribes.
The Blessed Pregnancy
Regarding Amina's feeling of the heaviness of pregnancy, she said: She was describing her pregnancy and denying the feelings that women usually experience when they are pregnant. Her pregnancy was free of the fatigue, pain, weakness, and exhaustion that women usually suffer during pregnancy. She had two dreams. The first was that she was pregnant with the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him), and she was told: "You are pregnant with the master of this nation. When he is born, say: 'I seek refuge for him with the One from the evil of every envier,' then name him Muhammad." The second dream was that during her pregnancy, she saw a light emanating from her that illuminated her vision until she could see the palaces of Chosroes in the land of Syria. When she gave birth, she informed his grandfather, Abdul-Muttalib, of his birth, and he took him into the Kaaba. He sought refuge for him and prayed for him, then named him Muhammad.
This story has ended, my son, but what can we learn from it?
The vsions in Islam are an integral part of the lives of some believers in the end times. Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: (( The vision of a Muslim, whether he seen it or seen to him)) is a sign of God’s power.” Praise be to God Almighty that He has preserved a part of prophecy on Earth until the Day of Judgment. Otherwise, people would have become completely engrossed in earthly materialism and forgotten Heaven. These visions remind us that God exists and that we are not alone in this universe. When someone shows us a good vision, whether it be a glad tiding or a warning, it reminds us to return to the right path. Today, the West is establishing universities to understand the nature of dreams and classify them into types, such as predict dreams, which are very close to Islamic visions. And we have a treasure in our hands called visions. And its various interpretations are from the sayings of dream interpretation scholars such as Ibn Sirin, Al-Nabulsi and other trustworthy scholars, and unfortunately, we do not pay much attention to true interpretations of it.
The Death of the Prophet's Father (Abdullah ibn Abd al-Muttalib)
After his pregnancy, Abdullah, the Prophet's father, traveled to Syria for trade. Like many of his people, Abdullah ibn Abd al-Muttalib was a merchant. He once went with a caravan to Syria, and on their return, he fell seriously ill. He remained in Medina, cared for by his maternal uncles from the Banu Najjar tribe, while those who had been with him returned to Mecca. Upon hearing this, Abd al-Muttalib sent his son al-Harith to check on his son, only to find him dead. They grieved deeply for him, and Abdullah was buried in the house of al-Nabigha.
One scholar suggested that:
He went to Gaza with a caravan of Quraysh carrying merchandise. They finished their business and returned, passing through Medina. Abdullah ibn Abd al-Muttalib was ill at the time, so he said, "I will stay with my maternal uncles, the Banu Adi ibn al-Najjar." He remained with them for a month, ill, while his companions continued on. They arrived in Mecca, and Abd al-Muttalib asked them about Abdullah. They replied, "We left him with his maternal uncles, the Banu Adi ibn al-Najjar, as he is ill." Abd al-Muttalib sent his eldest son, al-Harith, to him, but he found that Abdullah had passed away and was buried in the house of al-Nabigha. It is said that there were twenty-eight years between him and his son.
This story ends here, my son. What can we learn from it?
The father of the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, most likely died before the birth of Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. What can we learn from this? Islam began as something strange and will return to being something strange, will it not? Half of the nation today is suffering from wars, armed conflicts, famines, and the search for sustenance across the sea or on the borders of countries. The father dies before seeing one of his children, or even his first child in this life. Perhaps the death of the Prophet’s father, may God bless him and grant him peace, is a consolation for every child who lost his father before seeing him.
The Death of Lady Aminah bint Wahb
The Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, lived a happy childhood in the desert until he was about three years old. Then he returned to his biological mother, not his wet nurse, to live with her for only two years. Then a new loss began. Perhaps we can try to understand the story:
1- When the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, reached the age of six, his mother took him to visit his maternal uncles, the Banu Adi ibn al-Najjar, in Medina. She was accompanied by Umm Ayman, who held him, and they rode on two camels. (Umm Ayman was the Messenger of God's wet nurse.) They stayed with him at the house of al-Nabigha, the same house where his father, Abdullah ibn Abd al-Muttalib, had been buried years before.
2- She stayed with him for a month at the house of his maternal uncles, the Banu Adi ibn al-Najjar. After that, she wanted to return with him to Mecca out of fear and concern for her noble son, peace and blessings be upon him. This was because the Jewish scholars—that is, the Jewish rabbis, who were called rabbis—had recognized the signs of prophethood and the message in his features, peace and blessings be upon him, as Umm Ayman said. Ayman (the Prophet's wet nurse): One day, two Jewish men from Medina came to me and said, "Bring Ahmad out to us so we can see him." They looked at him and examined him closely. One of them said to the other, "This is the Prophet of this nation, and this is the land of migration. There will be great killing and captivity here."
3- On their return journey from Medina to Mecca, where they resided, illness struck Aminah bint Wahb, the Prophet's mother. The illness worsened rapidly until she reached a place called Al-Abwa', a location between Mecca and Medina. Sadly, she died and was buried there in Al-Abwa'.
4- Umm Ayman returned with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and became his wet nurse. She dedicated herself to his care and nurturing, showering him with affection, just as his grandfather, Abdul-Muttalib, had showered him with love. God compensated him for the lack of parental affection through the tenderness of his grandfather and Umm Ayman. Abdul-Muttalib was deeply in love with him and often advised Umm Ayman, saying, "O blessed one, do not neglect my son, for I found him with..." Boys near the lote tree, and the People of the Book claim that this son of mine is the prophet of this nation.
Related Studies
First Study
How Does the Loss of a Parent Affect Young Children?
Some children inherit the parent's traits and benefit from this.
Second Study
The Harmful Effects of Untreated Grief
If we learn how to grieve, we will suffer much less
Don't underestimate the importance of processing losses, whether large or small. Every loss needs to be addressed. Short-term effects include persistent grief, depression, and behavioral difficulties. Approximately 20% of children experience psychological disorders.
Grief is a form of learning
and the lessons we learn from our grief can help reprogram our brains after a loss. Research indicates that genetic changes occur in the brain when emotional bonds are formed, and the loss of these bonds can cause psychological, emotional, and physical pain, as well as confusion. Our brains are not yet able to accept the loss, and this is what causes the physical, psychological, and emotional trauma that persists. For this reason, coping with grief—in all its forms—is crucial.
The Physical Impact
The chaotic experience following the loss of a parent at a young age led to problematic behaviors, including unhealthy eating habits, difficulty meeting basic needs such as personal hygiene, and increased alcohol and drug use (as a form of "self-medication" to alleviate or escape ongoing psychological pain). Participants reported significant physical impacts, including panic attacks (which may reflect the mind-body connection).
Third Study
The presence and love of a close relative after the death of a parent have profound psychological effects on a child.
Attachment theory suggests that early nurturing relationships, including the bond with the deceased parent, shape a child's emotional development and future relationships.
A strong attachment to a close relative can provide a sense of security and emotional support, which is crucial for a child's well-being.
The severing of this bond can lead to psychological distress and difficulties in forming healthy relationships later in life.
Overall, the quality of these relationships can influence a child's mental health and social development, highlighting the importance of nurturing and affection in their upbringing.
The Strategies for Our Journey to Recovery
Acknowledge Your Loss
The key is to feel and accept your grief without fear or judgment, but with love and compassion.
Share Your Experiences in a Safe Environment
With family, friends, a therapist, or in a bereaved support group.
Meditation and Spending Time in Nature
Helps release the weight of grief and return to a state of calm.
Practice Gratitude
Find ways to cultivate a deep sense of appreciation for the love you have felt and continue to feel.
Focus on Growth After Trauma
Some say this involves strengthening family bonds, although in some cases, loss can also lead to family breakdown, a crucial factor in resilience.
Revisit the Memory of Your Deceased Parent
While things will never be the same, participants reported carrying the memory of their deceased parent with them, bringing them into their minds, imagining their guidance and life choices when making decisions, and absorbing their parent's personality in often helpful ways.
Public education can help
destigmatize loss and educate people on how to cope with grief. Schools can provide greater support for children when tragedies occur, including helping other families and peers understand what is happening.
Family members
affected by loss can consciously seek to grieve together and support one another, given the risk of family disintegration. While people who survive early hardships often emerge stronger and more resilient, it is important to remember that vulnerability is often hidden.
The therapists can play a vital role
in helping families and children cope with loss, thanks to their deep understanding of what they are going through. Although support is initially at its peak and then gradually diminishes, early diagnosis and treatment are essential to mitigating these effects and supporting the ability of affected children to cope. In general, the loss of a parent can profoundly impact a child's mental and emotional health, requiring ongoing support and intervention.
In summary
our religion contains the pillars of faith, and the meaning of pillars is the foundation of the house. If one of these pillars is removed, the house loses its stability (our house of faith). Among these pillars is belief in predestination, both good and bad. Contrary to people's custom, we praise God for the death of the Prophet's father and mother, Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, because it is a practical example before our very eyes. It shows us that the death of one or both parents does not affect a person's greatness and profound influence in their community, and perhaps other communities as well, as was the case with our Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. We praise God for their death and for the presence of his grandfather, Abdul-Muttalib, to care for him and show him affection – this is what we will learn about in the next video, God willing. This serves as a psychological prescription for thousands of grieving Muslims everywhere who have lost one or both of their parents during this critical period of life (early childhood or perhaps even before birth). It shows us the pivotal role of those around the child and the importance of providing adequate support, and of transcending grief for the sake of the future of young people, through the grieving children of today.
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